Classic Ted

Ted has a strong personality, no? If you have known him for a long time, you'll appreciate the anecdotes conveyed on these pages. If you have known him only a short time, read on to see what's coming down the pike.

old-telephone9/27/09 - When Ted got a cell phone, he decided he needs a ringtone that nobody else has. That way, he'll always know when it's his phone ringing in a crowd and he'll also know if it's his phone ringing or one on TV that he can ignore.

So he selected a clanger of a ringtone, like the one from back at the dawn of time, during his youth, when there weren't very many ways a telephone could sound.

Makes a lot of sense and is therefore a most Tedly approach to problem-solving; not many telephones sound like that these days.

Ah, but the universe has a way of complicating Ted's solutions. He's out in the great room just now, working on an electronics project, while an Ernie Kovacs movie plays on TV. The soundtrack is full of ringing 1950s type telephones. They all sound like Ted's ringtone and every time one goes off, he picks up his phone to see who's calling. It's driving him crazy. I'm greatly amused.

12/18/11 - We used to have a seven-foot white artificial Christmas tree. It did several years of hard duty and got messier every year as it shed nasty white plastic shards from its wire-based branches. We donated it after last Christmas to a retirement community in Las Cruces. They were as happy to have it as I was happy to get rid of it. We replaced it with a faux evergreen, made from molded plastic. It's a satisfactory approximation for a live tree, although if you catch it in a certain light from the corner of your eye, you realize that every single branchlet is identical to all the others. Also, it's only four feet tall. The tree-top Wal-Mart angel I perched on the fake white tree is too big for the new one. Still, she's really pretty and it's a shame not to use her somehow.

Floating angelAngels in the firmamentTed strung her from the ceiling with monofilament line. She floats in mid-air over the tree and reminds me of this painting I seem to remember seeing in the Salt Lake City LDS tabernacle when I was a kid.

12/8/12 - So here it is Christmas again. I'm drinking a cup of spicy Chai tea, laced with two tablespoons of hot chocolate mix. Unconventional, but yummy. Hits the spot when it's 18 degrees outside.

Ted's had a notion that he's been talking about for years for the ideal cat toy. Now if anybody knows about ideal cat toys, it's me. I'm the batty old cat lady in our family. Have been since I was a kid.

The ideal cat toy is a cardboard box, preferably corrugated for sturdiness, and any size so long as it's big enough for a cat or two to fit inside. At least one hole, big enough for a paw to get through, needs to be carved on each side. Let the cat find the box and get inside it. Then, with a paper tube made from repurposed junk mail, make erratic scritching noises on the outside near one of the holes. Keep your fingers clear.

If you have two cats, all the better. Once they figure out how magical this box is, they'll occupy themselves for hours with it.