The Biological Computer Robot Mannequins Revenge (1987)

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The opinions expressed in these pages belong exclusively to their writers. I claim no responsibility for the content beyond my opinion that it is weird, interesting, and funny.

This extravagant verbiage floated around the National Education Association for some time before it wound up on the desk of an engineer in NEA's information technology department. It is unlikely this information was ever distributed to NEA members, who were unjustly deprived of an opportunity to be mesmerically astonished.

June 28, 1987 A.D.

Sunday

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen:

The following science, communicatory is soon forthcoming, therefore I must ask you sincerely to make copies of this science communicant available to all your members in your association and societies.

RE: THE BIOLOGICAL COMPUTER ROBOT MANNEQUINS REVENGE

May I have your assiduous attention, please. A computer manufacturing engineering scientist dressed in a white laboratory coat skillfully stepped to the center of the large wooden stage. The excited audience in the science building hushed. They listened to the computer engineering scientist, but their eyes were mesmerically directed to the seven foot tall biological computer robot mannequins, standing next to him. The computer engineering scientist paid no attention to the biological computer robot mannequin. He looked down at the assembly of men, women, and children, sweeping his gaze across each row, speaking as if he were addressing each individual privately.

What you are about to witness will mesmerically astound you. A thousand questions will fill your mind. Ten thousand answers will assail you. But only one question will remain when you leave this research building. Only one question will stay in your memory to keep you awake at night, to nag you through the day, and to perplex you, and that question is HOW DOES THE COMPUTER BIOLOGICAL ROBOT MANNEQUIN WORK? HOW DID WE DO IT? Well I will tell you from the ancient book of wisdom."

Lucifer was permitted to give the breath of life to this biologivcal computer robot mannequin, created in the image of man, and even make it speak! The Revelation chapter 13, verse 15 Living New Testament parahrased. Yes, the mannequin robot has paranormal electronic multiplier, and paranormal electromotive force. The multiplier uses a 666 signal band.

The man's sudden, unexpected answer startled the audience upright in their chairs. The man smiled. He nodded slowly as if to reassure his stunned audience that everything was all right. His brow was very broad. Very little hair remained atop his head. He had a rather narrow chin set far below his arched cheeks which themselves rose to partially conceal his deep, dark eyes.

Then the man said to elastomer, the robot, greet your audience, who have come from all over the world to see you! Elastomer the biological computer robot mannequin walked to the edge of the stage. Children in the audience pulled back as if it were going to topple off the end of the stage. But Elastomer stopped less than an inch from the three-foot drop. Ooooh. Aaahh. The audience was delighted.